This is Flit-chan.
                                 >Ï<
Flit-chan is a butterfly.
A pretty gold-and-black winged butterfly.
Isn't he pretty?
             >Ï<-[:)HI!]
Ordinarily, Flit-chan is very happy.
                                  [(:]->Ï<-[:)]
But not now.
       >Ï<-[0_0]
           [' ']
           [' ']
Now Flit-chan is very sad.
                              [}:]->Ï<-[:{]
Why is Flit-chan sad, you ask?
Who could be mean to a pretty butterfly?
Well ... it's like this ...
Flit-chan has a job.
Flit-chan is a Muse.
                                               [QWERTY]->Ï<-[UIOP]
This is Flit-chan's Author.
                (@_@)-(HI!)
Flit-chan makes him write things.
(Well, put things down on the computer, really.)
         >Ï<-======ZZZZZAAAAAPPPP!!!!!=={(@_@)}-(AAAAAHHHHH!)
That's what being a Muse means.
But Flit-chan is not aMused now.
(That was a small joke.)
No. Flit-chan is angry!
                                   [>:]->Ï<-[:<]
Why?
Because Flit-chan's Author has not been writing things!
               (X_X)
He has been Netting and loafing and playing with LEGOs and feeling sorry for himself.
For more than a year now!
It's not as though he has a lot of free time anyway.
He's not supposed to waste it.
Or at least, not _ALL_ of it.
There are a lot of reasons.
But you weren't interested anyway.
                                      (@_@)-(WAAAHH!)
He's even slacked off so much that a bunch of people haven't had their mail answered.
                     >Ï<-======ZZZZZAAAAAPPPP!!!!!=={(X_X)}-(AAAAAHHHHH!)
Flit-chan is very sorry!
Flit-chan has taken steps.
Flit-chan earnestly hopes it won't happen again.
Or else.
         (AAAAAHHHHH!)-{(@_@)}==ZZZZZAAAAAPPPP!!!!!======->Ï<

------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is Myria.
                //Ö\\
Myria has pretty eyes.
//Ö\\
They are gold and red and purple.
Four of them, in fact.
                                                        //Ö\\
Myria has //Ö\\ pretty legs.
They are long and elegant.
They need to be.
She has to keep track of eight of them.
                                        //Ö\\
Myria is a spider.
//Ö\\
A Tibetan Cat-eating Jumping Tarantula, in fact.
She has pretty golden fur.
Her leg-span is thirty inches.
                                                                //Ö\\
That's one big spider!
        //Ö\\-(MYAAA!)
Myria is also unhappy.
                                      //Ö\\-(Myaaa-aaaa!)
Myria also has a job.
She is a Webmaster.
            (DTD3.2 correct)-//Ö\\
But you knew that.
Among her jobs is taking care of the kawaiikunee.com website.
This is where her Author stores his writings.
She had made a pretty update.
Around April of last year.
But she left the job of uploading the files to the Author.
                                                    (@_@)
Because he has fingers, and the root password.
But he malfed it up, and didn't upload them.
             (MYAAAAAAAARGH!)-//Ö\\    (AAAAAAHHHHH!!!)-(@_@)
And _then_ he didn't _notice_!
        (@_@)-(AAAAAAHHHHH!!!)    //Ö\\-(MYAAAAAAAARGH!)
Myria is _terribly_ embarrassed!
               //Ö\\-(^_^'''')
She won't make _that_ mistake again!
Neither will the Author!
    (((X((X((X(X_X)X))X))X)))
What do Tibetan Cat-eating Jumping Tarantulas eat?
They eat cats, rats, dogs, frogs, snakes, rakes, lizards, gizards, mice,
moose, elk, bears, hogs, cows, ducks, birds, beetles, rabbits, hamsters,
octopusses, apes, grapes, monkeys, fish, hippopotomuses, elephants,
tigers, gibbons, baboons, lions, leopards, sharks, hyenas, and random
scenery.
But they're not allowed to eat Authors.
                (((X((X((X(@_@)X))X))X)))-(Whew!)
That doesn't stop them from fanging them a good one, though!
     (((X((X((X(0_0)'''''X))X))X)))

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flit-chan and Myria know that some of you must be pretty upset at them.
          //Ö\\''''''           >Ï<'''''
But they did they best they could.
       >Ï<-[^_^]           //Ö\\-(^_^)
Really.
If you're mad at someone, be mad at the Author.
            (@_@)'''-(HEY!)
But don't hate the Butterfly.
                             [^_^:)]->Ï<-[(:^_^]
Or the Spider, either.
              (^_^)-//Ö\\-(Myaaaaroooow?)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brought to you by the One Tough Butterfly Foundation, a division of OTB Inc.,
a proud part of OnToBu Plc. 
And by the My God That's a Big Spider Group, a MGTABS company.
Both of which are wholly owned susidiaries of Shadow Lurker Productions; 
which is not, in any way, and never has been, in any way,
a part, subsidiary, associate, division, company, site, or piece of
TenNabCo GmBH (and we really mean that). Fnord.